Where is Kentucky? Its kinda in the South, no actually its really the Mid-West, but on the map, to me it looks rather east-ish than west-ish; and more mid-ley, than south-ley. West Virginia lies to the east, Virginia to the southeast, Tennessee to the south, Missouri to the west, Illinois and Indiana to the northwest, and Ohio to the north and northeast. Ok if these words still don’t have you on page, just look at the graphic. This should give you a good idea where it is.
Enough about that, -what- is Kentucky? Well, a united state of course. (was I supposed to capitalize that? Spell-check doesn’t seem to care; communists.) What’s cool in KY? Louisville is the largest city here and is a must-see for any visitor, but beware: locals don’t take kindly to mispronunciations of their beloved city. Not “Lewie-ville” – try ‘Loouhvull’ or ‘Luhvull’ and you might get through a visit without being dubbed the dreaded title of “yank” or worse… “dang yank.”
Before you skip the rest of this post to the comments to question the existence of KFC’s in Kentucky, let me formally assure, they do and they thrive. Why, eating food is one of the primary functions of many of the denizens in this fine state. Another well kept secret locals hold dearly in lieu of Louisville is the fact we only have 49 states: Kentucky and Indiana form to make Kentuckiana, a deformed mutant, failed experiment of a state. BLARRGH!
Before you’re fast to overlook as ‘just another city’ in ‘just another state,’ mind you the wonders of a sport oft overlooked by many Americans: That’s right: Glue manufacturing, production and distribution! It all starts with a few short people, (we’ll call them jockys) and a few horses of high muscle/body-weight ratio, (we’ll call them race horses). Jockys ride these horses in some sort of ovular track. “Break a leg!” And whenst they have their hay-day, or become incapacitated, they’re shipped straight for materials. This is where the fun begins: First, make sure they’re dead, then beat them. It gets fuzzy after this part, I forget: then eventually glue comes out of the factory! (and when I say ‘they’, I mean the horses, silly)
Is there anything else cool about KY? Just as things that “Taste like chicken” aren’t chicken unless its really chicken; Louisville/Kentucky is just like many other cities and states, but aren’t those other cities and states, and chicken tastes pretty good. I dunno really, but apparently I’m the new Zomgee Kentucky Representative or ZKR for short. With my new deep-fried job, I should be able to have a few more time on my hands in the upcoming year. If there are any disputes or misconceptions about this state, please keep it in the comments area of this post, not in any previous post; thank you.