This is why women should not take men shopping against their will:
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men – he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally, unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women – she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart…
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, “Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.”
3. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.
4. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
5. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
6. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
7. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
8. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
9. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’
And last, but not least…
10. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!’