Zomgee

…to be reminded that people still hate others any day of the year. Any problem can be traced to pride, but while dealing with roots running too deep in our sinful nature, pride can lead in so many directions, especially when coupled with ignorance. If you haven’t seen this story already, it can be shocking:

Santa-Suit gunman’s rampage leaves 9 dead

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As Christmas Eve night fast approaches, the World is largely concerned with Santa Claus and while there is much to be learned about his history through popular culture it is rare that you hear about his biological roots in this world. Who is this Santa Claus and where does he come from? To answer these questions I have turned to an early work written by one of the few eyewitnesses of Santa’s gift giving. Twas the Night Before Christmas chronicles the tale of a young man who catches a quick glimpse of the jolly Christmas figure. The story offers an excellent description part of which never quite made sense when compared to the modern depiction of Santa. Clement Moore states upon hearing a clatter he saw “a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny rein-deer with a little old driver.” We see all kinds of mall displays and movies that show Santa as a full grown man, but coming from the one person that actually saw him, we find that he is little and fits into a miniature sleigh. My eyes are opened when I read line by line of the story as I believe I know Santa’s true back story. He is in fact, a hobbit.

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Fantabulous Friday!

As per idle threats by certain patrons Zomgee, I, OhYo, present to you the first of many fantabulous “Fantabulous Friday” posts. So what sort of things might a passerby read here on Fantabulous Friday? Well, at the very least, it must be fantabulous; and it’s totally cool that Microsoft Word says fantabulous is a real word. (Mozilla disagrees) What does the word fantabulous mean exactly?

It is a portmanteau of fantastic and fabulous; which is something new to me. Fabutastic just doesn’t seem to have the same ring to it. Either way, it should be some fun stuff.

So what’s on your mind lately? Probably shopping for your respected “holy day,” we can only presume. Marketers don’t really care, they just want you to spend, and I suppose it couldn’t hurt the economy (or could it?) What’s really scary is the type of psyche western society has on shopping. Men scoff at women for being utterly enthralled by the thought of shopping, observing items for sale and “lookin’ for deals/coupons,” while women jeer at the thought of how men rush into stores to acquire goods without penalty of price or simply not bother to go shopping entirely. I was at work the other day and I saw this little girl with a t-shirt that said “I love shopping!” or something similar on it. Better learn ‘em young. My marketing teacher advised that consumers are smart and are intelligible in the ways of consuming. This is probably the only thing I would have disagreed on. What do you think? Do people generally make stupid decisions when buying things? Do you?

Gag gifts are great. The best part about them is that they know you had them in mind when you were shopping for this item. Un-useful items make great gag gifts. Umbrella hats, microphone-shaped bathing sponges and custom TP printed with “Do a barrel roll!” all over it applies. Just a thought for those still shopping; get something dumb for once.

Be thankful I didn’t rant about Saturnalia. Oh, and welcome to the new Zomgee. I have until 10:06 to think of something to write for next Friday.

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Update:

Contest will end 11/13/08. My apologies in not ending this like 3 months ago, but its been busy and I thought more than 3 submissions would come in. Also, given the recent political events, new inspiration might strike

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Where is Kentucky? Its kinda in the South, no actually its really the Mid-West, but on the map, to me it looks rather east-ish than west-ish; and more mid-ley, than south-ley. West Virginia lies to the east, Virginia to the southeast, Tennessee to the south, Missouri to the west, Illinois and Indiana to the northwest, and Ohio to the north and northeast. Ok if these words still don’t have you on page, just look at the graphic. This should give you a good idea where it is.

Enough about that, -what- is Kentucky? Well, a united state of course. (was I supposed to capitalize that? Spell-check doesn’t seem to care; communists.) What’s cool in KY? Louisville is the largest city here and is a must-see for any visitor, but beware: locals don’t take kindly to mispronunciations of their beloved city. Not “Lewie-ville” – try ‘Loouhvull’ or ‘Luhvull’ and you might get through a visit without being dubbed the dreaded title of “yank” or worse… “dang yank.”

Before you skip the rest of this post to the comments to question the existence of KFC’s in Kentucky, let me formally assure, they do and they thrive. Why, eating food is one of the primary functions of many of the denizens in this fine state. Another well kept secret locals hold dearly in lieu of Louisville is the fact we only have 49 states: Kentucky and Indiana form to make Kentuckiana, a deformed mutant, failed experiment of a state. BLARRGH!

Before you’re fast to overlook as ‘just another city’ in ‘just another state,’ mind you the wonders of a sport oft overlooked by many Americans: That’s right: Glue manufacturing, production and distribution! It all starts with a few short people, (we’ll call them jockys) and a few horses of high muscle/body-weight ratio, (we’ll call them race horses). Jockys ride these horses in some sort of ovular track. “Break a leg!” And whenst they have their hay-day, or become incapacitated, they’re shipped straight for materials. This is where the fun begins: First, make sure they’re dead, then beat them. It gets fuzzy after this part, I forget: then eventually glue comes out of the factory! (and when I say ‘they’, I mean the horses, silly)

Is there anything else cool about KY? Just as things that “Taste like chicken” aren’t chicken unless its really chicken; Louisville/Kentucky is just like many other cities and states, but aren’t those other cities and states, and chicken tastes pretty good. I dunno really, but apparently I’m the new Zomgee Kentucky Representative or ZKR for short. With my new deep-fried job, I should be able to have a few more time on my hands in the upcoming year. If there are any disputes or misconceptions about this state, please keep it in the comments area of this post, not in any previous post; thank you.