While doing some clean up on the site, I ran across a post I wrote almost a year and a half ago and never published publicly. I can’t believe how much has changed since then In the spirit of memories preserved, I’ll leave in the comments from HT and myself.

Written 12/29/2008

Within the next couple days, we’ll all be celebrating the new year and thinking back on the old one. Parties will be held, resolutions will be made, and invariably, resolutions will be broken. It’s a bit cliché now to even bring that up :\

I have to confess that no one will be as happy as me to see 2008 pass on by. Granted, there were some ups, but downs abounded… In January, one of my friends was killed, in February, my grandpa passed away, in March and April, my two best friends moved away, and so continued the rest of the year… My dog even died, for crying out loud. I became bitter, antagonistic, and hard-hearted. It was a year of disappointment, but through it all there was some joy.

Through one of the guys at work, I happened upon a website of web/flash developers and programmers… a very tight-knit, not-well-known community. Most of the people are of young adult age and several of them were going through similar situations and able to lend encouraging words and support, as well as offer advice with JQuery, SA questions and whatever other technical issues I ran into.

I also had some friends that were a bit closer, one specifically who, even though she didn’t always understand everything that was going on, was a regular source of support.

It took a while for me to realize something… even though I had lost people, either to the great end we all must meet, or the inevitable result of growing up and finding opportunities elsewhere, I can’t lose focus on the people that are still around.. who care and try to help, even when I don’t notice. It’s easy to get carried away with the bad that has happened and not see the good that is all still around.

So here’s to a great new year *raises Sobe Fuel*. May we all find joy in it and may we have the friends there to help us when we find otherwise.

Enjoy the pictures of the day below: fireworks, Corbett’s Glen Park in Rochester NY, and some crazy Never Ending Story clouds.

The school that I go to is… odd. Things such as the one-man Karl Marx in modern culture play tend to pop up among the “free-thinkers”. You’ll also find various calls to communism, 57 original flavors of eastern religions, people who walk around in bare feet (yes, bathrooms are frequented by them..), and the largest population of adult males aged 17-24 who don’t shower. Ever.

So I wasn’t exactly surprised when I saw this at school: 

Click for larger

Now, keep in mind that I don’t mean to ostracize anyone in this post. I have several vegan/vegetarian friends who take their eating habits seriously and some of which get sick from eating meat (much in the same way some get sick from dairy).

I am, however, calling out PETA on another load of garbage. I’m going to dissect this flier a little, but first let me direct you to some of their other propoganda.

I’m all for the ethical treatment of animals and even have certain family members that take it upon themselves to go the extra mile and rescue stray and feral cats. Yet even these family members consider PETA to be crazy.

I’ll cite some of the “facts” and quotes mentioned here.

First off, at the top, we see a quote from Paul McCartney about how going Vegan is the single most important thing someone can do. Sorry Sir Paul, but thats fairly low on my list. Saving someone’s life, curing cancer, erasing the national debt, bring character and accountability back into politics are somewhere near the top. I could go on, but you get the point.

Another quote is on the left margin: “(The meat industry) is one of the top two or three [Dan: real precise I see...] most significant contributors to the most serious environmental problems at every scale from local to global.” Really? With all those vaguisms can anything really be gleaned from that? Any citations? Any speciality in the field of agriculture, conservation, forestry, etc? or are we just getting an “in” celeb to help us make our message seem credible. I don’t really value highly the opinion of a man who sings about living on a yellow submarine.

Ok, so on to the “facts” (I should note that even though “reports” and “researchers” are mentioned, no direct citations are given here).

“…the meat industry is responsible for more greenhouse-gas emissions than all the cars, trucks, planes, and ships in the world combined.” So what exactly defines the “meat industry”? I’m guessing everything from the animal feed and the process to create it, animal excrement (I lol at that word), animal breathing (WOW look at all that exhaling those cows are doing!), transport, refrigeration, and consumption, right? A bit of an unfair comparison now that cars have to be like ULHZEV (uber leet haxor zero emissions vehicles) for the EPA to even consider allowing them to exist. Oh and yeah.. global warming is real too right?

“Animals raised for food in the U.S. produce 130 times more excrement [Dan: There it is again!] than the entire human population of the U.S.!” (The exclamation mark wasn’t added by me!) So.. cows are bigger than humans, right? And all they do is eat all day. US pop = ~300M. US # of cows alone: ~100M. Do cows poop 3x more than humans? probably. Why does this matter? Oh, wait, and poop is biodegradable too, right? And doesn’t it fertilize soil? Make your homemade tomatos bigger? Make that corn you buy in the summer taller? K.. just wondering.

“More than 260 million acres of U.S. forest have been cleared for grazing and for growing grain to feed farm animals.” Now.. that grain- does that go to feed humans as well? Does some of that go to fuel our new, shiny ethanol cars? 260M acres is approx 11% of the entire landmass belonging to the U.S., so I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the term “forest” means any sort of land where tree-like vegetation was growing on it as of 1500AD.

“A vegetarian uses only 300 gallons of water per day, while a meat-eater [Dan: Like from Land Before Time!!!] uses more than 4,000.” I absolutely love this statistic, and I can tell you why: Its because we “meat-eaters” take showers every day. You know, that time of day when you wash your hair, clean yourself, make yourself smell better than before… We also wash our clothes too. Also, it seems to me that the world is quite full of water and ways to purify it, so this is just as assinine as saying that since I have big lungs I should be excommunicated for breathing too much air. QQ

The list goes on and on, and, frankly, I’m bored and tired and have a final in a few hours, so I’ll just catch the last one: “Chickens, pigs, turkeys, fish, and cows are intelligent [Dan: SRSly.. I saw a cow solve a Rubiks Cube on youtube], social animals who feel pain, just as humans, dogs, and cats do. More than 27 billion [Dan: WOW thats a lot] animals are mutilated, confined [Dan: Like.. put in a cage?], and killed in horrible ways by the US meat industry every year.” Yes, animals can feel pain. If you flick a cow’s ear, it will moo at you and quite possibly kick you. Yes, they are social- they travel in herds, schools, etc.. but they don’t have PTA meetings, have Friday poker nights, or swim down to a southern state for 8 days of relaxation and gaming. Yes, death is a gruesome thing, but it can be and is done humanely. Animals do not have souls. They don’t have a divine spark or even come close to being on the same level as humans because, frankly, we aren’t animals. All this section does is appeal to the emo side in all of us, and it tends to work.

I don’t hunt. I never have and probably never will. I’m not callous towards the suffering of animals, but lets be realistic here. Humans are designed to eat meat. Those who don’t can have serious problems from a lack of protein. Besides.. meat is yummy.

I don’t know how many of you watch TV on the air with commercials and whether or not you pay attention to a single one of those commercials. I for one hadn’t watched “live” TV for years until I recently bought one and have since seen far more commercials than I’d like to admit. One of the one’s that was spammed at me for a while was McDonald’s and their quarter pounder deal taking place on Feburary 17th. I wish I could find the ad for you but frankly I’m too tired to do more than a basic google/youtube search so I’ll have to summarize. Basically the ad hails the wonders of the quarter pounder and ends by saying: “On February 17th buy one quarter pounder with cheese and get one free for a quarter.”

Prior to yesterday that ad meant only one thing to me, that on Febuary 17th McDonalds was going to lose money on quarter pounders to make money on other things because they were selling you two quarter pounders for just 25 cents. As it turns out McDonalds expects that you believe that the slogan means that if you buy one quarter pounder with cheese for full price you will get the second one for only a quarter. Now maybe I was being neive when I thought they’d basically be giving these away free, but hey Denny’s gave away free Grand Slams a few weeks ago so why not.

The thing that gets me about this, is that they purposely worded the ad so that you would think you get two burgers for 25 cents and they knew that if you didn’t read the fine print and went into the store thinking that, you would probably still buy one because it’s actually still a pretty good deal. I can’t quite say it’s false advertising, because honestly I didn’t read the fine print but what in the world does McDonald’s think free means anyway? Obviously to them free means 25 cents and that strikes me as somewhat odd. Personally I hope people walked out of stores disgusted at the gimmick and didn’t give them any more money. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind McDonald’s doing lots of business, but if they’re going to lie to me they’re not getting mine.

I heard this other song at work along the lines of “I may not know what love is, but I know what love ain’t” or something (/shudder at the thought of country music). The process of elimination is bland but apt. Let us delve into what people think what love is and why they’re so delusional.

(Preface: We have to assume the question refers to the love for ones spouse or spouse-to-be and appropriate mixture and order of agape, philos and eros.)

It’s hard to tell if Valentine was a saint, especially when there were multiple Valentines. Nevertheless, being martyrs, they traded a nominal, unknown yet inevitable death for a premature and agonizing execution all to share their unquenchable passion for their cause. The Catholic Church chose a week to celebrate (and otherwise uplift) the Valens (or ‘the worthy’) and their sacrifices (somehow more-so than the actual cause they died for). This week happened to encompass a separate pagan day worshiping lust, uncontrolled sexuality and fertility. Paganism abounds eventually and “romance” becomes the theme again. Nothing says “I love you” like “Be my Valentine and die a slow and painful death for my causes” especially when the cause is an inordinate craving for impurity.

This is funny, because the whole point of sticking ‘martyr-worship-day’ there in the first place was to get rid of the romantic theme. The root-word in romance here is -Roman- in that it is to say “love as the Romans did.” How did they love? Similar to every other act or emotion: proudly overstated with delusions of grandeur. Romanticism is art, however an exaggeration of expression to the point of inaccuracy; an illusion. Expressing love in embellishment not only precludes honesty, but discounts the intentions entirely. One who describes a love that is so real to them that it actually seems unreal to them has made their emotions so lofty that it is in fact unreal, indefinable at the very least and therefore inexpressible. Romance also celebrates expression with word and deed. Though sometimes these are the only viable options, generating this energy outwardly primarily rather than from within (or Above) can be outright baseless. Nothing says “I love you” like “Isn’t this unrealistically better than I can even pretend it could be? Uh, I mean romantic?”

Courtly love is a little more recent but is still argued on how and for what purpose it originally held. It probably has since evolved (or devolved?) to its own system (I know courting is actually different, but not necessarily mutually exclusive to the same problems), but let’s check out the ye-olde style courting, AKA yon knightly or yon not-so-knightly trying to pick up some yon chicks. According to Barbara Tuchman, courting consisted of variable stages (plus my parenthetical commentary):

• Attraction to the lady, usually via eyes/glance (Okay nothing wrong with being physically attracted to someone, but kind of vain in and of itself.)
• Worship of the lady from afar (Apparently this guy’s either lustful, deifying a human being or just a plain creeper.)
• Declaration of passionate devotion (devotion to what? Her body? Something between step 2 and 3 is definitely missing.)
• Virtuous rejection by the lady (Well I don’t blame her, but even if everything was legit by this point, don’t you think this step should be at least optional & skip to the end? Turtle mating rituals comes to mind for some reason.)
• Renewed wooing with oaths of virtue and eternal fealty (At least he doesn’t give up right away, but he still doesn’t have anything other than trying to convince someone to do something they already don’t want to commit to. Only thing worse would be her submission beyond this point (unless he miraculously turns sincere, doubtful), but, if this guy has to vow on virtue, he’s admitting he already struggles and has a reputation of failure in that area. Let your ayes be ayes and nays be nays!)
• Moans of approaching death from unsatisfied desire [and other physical manifestations of lovesickness] (He’s reached desperation at this point and is exhausting all options before the next step which he doesn’t seem like he wants to bother to do. Beyond outright lies, having to convince someone to change their heart about oneself shouldn’t be harder than simply observing their honest countenance.)
• Heroic deeds of valor which win the lady’s heart (Took him long enough, but shouldn’t he have done or want to do this already regardless of reward?)
• Consummation of the secret love (Stupid girl gets it on with stupid guy, but hey, can’t blame them, it’s the Middle-Ages; we got the Black Death runnin’ around so I suppose a little procreation should be in order anyway.)
• Endless adventures and subterfuges avoiding detection (wait, what? This whole thing was on the DL? Wow… I’m astounded; all that -and- they avoided the “he-said-she-said” business. Wait till the folks find out, oh they’re dead from the plague, okay…. Well, carry on then…)

Animalistic. Nothing says “I love you.” like “Your mind and emotional wellbeing are in the way of your body. Move them now, I’m horny; I’ll do anything, I’m desperate.”

What do these three ever-so-often-seen assumptions on how “Love should be” in our western society have in common? First off, they all compare themselves to passions someone else has had in the past. This assumes their love couldn’t get any better than that and is struggling to sustain that same level if it can ever get there. It also precludes that this level of passion is entirely reliant on the comparison and without it goes back to ‘realistic-mode’ which, to some, puniness outweighs sincerity. Nothing’s wrong with a little allegory and simile to accent an emotion, (“Our love is like a seed, it grows ‘n stuff” is somehow better than “My love for you is kinda like someone else’s love for some other person.”) Secondly, these three venues share an idea of ‘conditional love.’ It’s either someone else has to accept or do something for the inquirer or the inquirer has to subject the inquired ultimatums and requirements. Whatever happened to loving someone for who they are, instead for what they’ve done (sorry batman) or for who someone else is?

I have to say I’ve never seen a couple in a relationship, married or otherwise, that I’m impressed with. The only one I’ve heard of that comes close off the top of my head would have to be Adam and Eve, pre-fall. I know the Adam ‘knew’ Eve term has several meanings, but it shouldn’t. Whoever I might find, I want to know them in every way for who they are. Ugh, longpost is long. Not sure if I’ve said enough or too much, but there it is; a post on Friday, happy now?

Ninja Edit: Oh yea, I wanted to share this ‘lovely’ video as a sort of Valentine to you all (ok, no I don’t really want you all to die but watch it anyway). Did a ‘lil scooping on it and found it’s about someone who’s trying to learn the lesson that if you want to love someone, you still have to cope with that person. Love doesn’t come without a little hate, and if you can’t love someone at their worst, how can you call it sincere? The main character seems to be caught in a grey area between stabbing voodoo dolls and daydreaming about her special someone (wide grey area), all because they stole the precious thing: her heart. Random obligatory counting in foreign languages and also the ending is beautiful.

Reference(s):

Tuchman, Barbara Wertheim, A Distant Mirror: the Calamitous Fourteenth Century (New York: Knopf, 1978),

Hilarious, no? Everyone likes subtleties: especially when they’re difficult to pick out and very especially when it pertains to you and fellow zomgees. I’ll probably not catch them all but here’s a go.

Frame 1:

1. Red shirt (my fav color)
2. “Do a Barrel Roll” on shirt (my fav meme)
3. correct eye colors (should have known being asked what color they were)
4. “Cake is a lie” (orange for Aperture Science/orange box?) (linger roll over for info)
5. Stretch’s Hair (didn’t notice it the first time through)
6. “Fresh” beverage (Bel-Air’d flavor)
7. HT’s skin (Oh, that’s a shirt)

Frame 2:

1. Poof (onomatopoeia; significance?)
2. Flat-top hair on future HT (vanilla ice?)
3. visor (Star Trek TNG?)
4. Nervously confused giant sweat droplets (manga iconography everywhere)
5. Ta-Da (windows 95 sound?)

Frame 3:

1. Exclamation point (Metal Gear Solid discovery)
2. Bell-bottoms are ‘in’ in the future?
3. great back-shot of the mini-ears
4. Is that the same shirt they’re wearing? only from different times?

Frame 4:

1. Was hoping HT was wearing jorts at this point

Frame 5:

1. Hobbitstretch (throwback to HT’s post?)
2. notjorts
3. Oi VEY! (proof Yiddish still exists in the future)
4. FutureHT’s dialog (traveling into the past is impossible)
5. (but even if it was, wouldn’t they travel to a time where it’d be fix more optimally?)

Frame 6:

1. OhYo is not Zordon
2. Ahhhh! (from this)
3. Finally unveiling what’s on SS’s shirt

Frame 7

1. Not picking up phone inside joke (I’ve not been informed I suppose)
2. SS is still a midget/hobbit, lol.

Frame 8

1. Not sure who’s supposed to be rescuing me, FutureHT seems to be bailing.
2. Gifts in green bags might help. Can’t get enough of *Whack*
3. A young Barak or Will Smith (jorts) witnessing trouble in his neighborhood.

Frame 9

1. Glad I have at least a little of something to drink when I come to
2. Not sure if this thing is a conveyor belt taking me to my doom or something
3. Dig the visors, but I can’t be too eager to find out what’s brainwashing me
4. “I know that laugh”

I’m sure I’m missing a lot; considering other hints were given by our venerable artist; any help from the peanut gallery? One hint given was something about how the colors used were pretty much important in every case. By the way, we’re famous, we’re cartoons.

real proof of real zombies

(ugh dithering. I guess I really ‘dropped the ball’ this time)

2008 was…

1. …the year journalism died.

   I don’t know how many of you remember, but 2008 was an election year and during such times it is generally considered the media’s job to help inform the public about the candidates that we will choose between. In 2008 informing turned to blatant propaganda. Certainly I’ve always felt most people in the media have a bias one way or another, but in 2008 the coverage of the candidates went beyond just bias. The majority of the media had a love affair with Senator Obama, so much so that they failed to ask him a single tough question the entire election cycle and they even felt feelings run up their legs when he spoke.

2. …the year God proved Global Warming false.

   Despite what we’ve been told, it turns out that since 1998 (the hottest year on record, unless you count 1933 which is actually the hottest year on record) the earth has actually been cooling, the polar ice caps have been thickening, and it looks like we’re not in danger of dying in less than a hundred years (at least not from the weather anyway). 2008 was one of the coldest years in recent memory, giving Canada it’s first all-white Christmas since the 70s, and sending snow to China, London, and chilly weather all across the US. October was one of the coldest on record even if one of the nation’s leading scientists claimed it was the warmest ever by using September’s temperatures to prove his point. Long story short God really tipped the weather scale this year and I don’t care if someone says global cooling is proof that the earth is getting warmer, this is the year that the tide has turned on this pathetic issue.

3. …the year the people of the United States ended racial prejudice.

   In an historic election the people of the United States overwhelmingly proved that there is no racial prejudice in this country. After all that’s what the election was about right? The truth was, over 58 million Americans didn’t agree with what Obama stood for, while over 66 million either did agree with him or got duped by his “change” mantra. It turns out the election had nothing to do with race after all even if that’s what certain people wanted us to believe. That being said, there certainly is racial prejudice in this country it just may not be in the same places everyone thinks it is.

4. …the year the United States government rejected the Constitution.

   It all started when they said one company was too big to fail, then several companies were too big to fail, then the financial sector was too big to fail. Before long the car compaines were too big to fail and sooner than later anything and everything will be too big too fail. Not long after that we will have a full socialist state with everything run by Big Brother. George Orwelle got it wrong, it wasn’t 1984 it was 2008. The people stood up and told their government no on several occasions and each time the government of the people, by the people, and for the people turned into the government of the state, by the state and for the state. We may never see our system back the way the founders created it and 2008 will be the year that the ball started rolling. When my children and grandchildren ask me what a democracy was like someday, I’m going to open my history books and point to the picture of George W. Bush and say “that was the man that started us in the wrong direction”…and I’m afraid all I’ll have to do is turn the page to a picture of Barack Obama and say “that was the man that finished the job.”

I had started writing an article to be published today, but decided for the sake of Zomgee to spare you all.

Instead, I bring you Zomgee: A Year in Review. I would recommend going back through the montly archives to say hi to all our old posts, but here are the top 12 as I see them, based on hits, humor, and quality:

12 – In Memorium

by Dan on Apr.06, 2008

A quick look at Charlton Heston, his life, and the man that he was.

11 – Life and Death in America

by Dan on Sep.04, 2008

It can be surprising the lessons you learn by taking a look at your family history.

10 – 6 Things that Should Cost Less

by Dan on Dec.12, 2008

Seriously.

9 – The Difference a Phone Call Makes

by HT on May.01, 2008

HT takes it upon himself to explore the unknown.

8 – Apologies..

by Dan on Jan.08, 2008

Just a tiny bit of Hillary bashing…

7 – The Return of the Commercials

by Dan on Feb.06, 2008

What’s a list without Super Bowl commercials?

6 – Best of: Applications pt. 1

by Dan on Feb.19, 2008

Some of the best programs/services known to man

5 – Project: Carputer

by Dan on Jul.17-Aug.17, 2008

Seriously.. wow.

4 – End of an Era: Change is Here

by HT on Nov.05, 2008

Obama… /facepalm

3 – Happy New Year 2oo8

by OhYo on Jan.03, 2008

Get the real story behind Dick Clark

2 – Pakistan, meet Internet 0.0

by Dan on Feb.25, 2008

So.. Pakistan was bad and lost the Internet.. Also, our most popular post over, garnering 597 views to date.

1 – Concerning Santa Claus

by HT on Dec.24, 2008

A very recent post.. Where else can you find proof that Santa is a bit more Middle-Earth-ish than you thought?

Santa-Suit gunman’s rampage leaves 9 dead

I haven’t had a ‘warm and fuzzy feeling’ along with the Christmas season for a while. It’s hard to say ‘this season is to remember Jesus’ birth’ especially when there’s so many other days of the year to do it. This should at the very least be a good reminder that if someone who “had no criminal record and no history of violence” can hate so much on a day of jolly and mirth is more sound and devoted to an evil cause that we can to our own causes on any day. People seem like they’ve ‘tried love’ or are bored with it, but they’re begging for it, even when they push it away. Love more and things might turn out better than you expected.

His height is our first clue and Tolkien clearly describes Hobbits as “little people, about half our height, and smaller than [...] Dwarves” with heights “ranging between two and four feet.” Being short is not nearly enough to claim that Santa is a hobbit since he certainly could be a dwarf, a midget, or even a gnome so we will have to find other evidence if we are to pursue this further.

As soon as Moore sees Santa up close the first thing he notices is what a happy person he seems to be. “His eyes – how they twinkled! His dimples: how merry, his cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry.” Tolkien explains that Hobbits too have “good-natured faces” including such features as “red-cheeks” and “bright-eyes.” Tolkien describes that hobbits have “broad” faces with “mouths apt to laughter” and are “inclined to be fat” thanks to their hearty eating and drinking. Santa Claus likewise was “chubby and plump” with “a broad face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.”

One descriptive word in Moore’s poem could throw a careless reader off, so let me point it out right now. He states that St. Nicholas was “a right jolly old elf.” You might question how Santa could be a hobbit if he is in fact an elf. Without going into a long story of the history about how elves became known to people of our time as small figures, and without also going into a long history into the beginning of hobbits, I can offer this simple explanation: Moore, thinking that elves were short, must have seen Santa’s ears, and noting that they were pointed assumed him to be an elf. J.R.R. Tolkien does explain in a letter that hobbits did have ears that were “slightly pointed and ‘elvish.’”

I must make one final note on his appearance, for I confess there is one thing about Santa that does not lend itself to the notion that he is a hobbit and that is his white as snow beard. For as you know in The Hobbit Tolkien says categorically that “Hobbits have no beards.” Admittedly this is quite the hang-up but after much contemplation I can also offer an explanation to this mystery. In the prologue to The Fellowship of the Ring a bit more detail is given concerning Hobbits, including descriptions of the three different breeds of the race. The Harfoots were the only of the three that were explicitly called “beardless.” This leads me to believe that, while rare, the Stoors or Fallowhides may have been able to grow beards and since Santa Claus has unnatural long life (perhaps a new ring was crafted in the fourth age?) it is conceivable that he could have grown a beard in all of that time. I also suspect that since Santa is somewhat more adventurous than most Hobbits he was probably of Tookish decent and therefore a Fallowhide.

Moving away from his appearance we notice another important bit of information. In his teeth he held “the stump of a pipe” and there was a cloud of smoke from said pipe “encircling his head like a wreath.” Meriadoc Brandybuck claimed that the smoking of pipe-weed was “the one art that we can certainly claim to be our (Hobbits) own invention.” Santa has had a lot of time to practice this “art” and is seen by Moore puffing a smoke-ring that encircled his head.

For children the most important aspect of Santa Claus is the gifts that he brings and we find that hobbits delight in the giving of gifts doing so on their own birthdays rather than how we give gifts now. Who knows perhaps December 25th is this Hobbit’s birthday and while religious observances of Jesus’ birth occur on this day we can probably all agree that it’s not His actual birthday. Hobbits also have “long and skillful fingers” capable of making many “useful and comely things.” Santa too would need the ability to make many things to give away which also would lead us to believe that the elves in his employ could in fact be other Hobbits who were also mistaken for elves.

There is but one final clue that Santa is a Hobbit and that is his ability to move quickly, stealthily, and almost magically. Tolkien explains that Hobbits are “nimble and deft in their movements” and while they have “never studied magic” to Men their movements may “seem magical.” This explains some of the final lines of the poem when as Santa is about to leave he lays “his finger aside of his nose and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.” Certainly as a Hobbit he was able to nimbly move up the chimney in such a way that it appeared to be magic thus adding to the aura of Santa Claus and his abilities.

I think at this point it’s safe to say that a long unsolved mystery can be put to rest. Santa’s origins come from Middle Earth, and while Hobbits are dismayed with us generally and hard to find this particular Hobbit will live on for generations in our tales of Christmas past.

References:
Clement Moore – A Visit from St. Nicholas (http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/A_Visit_from_St._Nicholas)
J.R.R. Tolkien – The Hobbit – p. 15-16
J.R.R. Tolkien – The Fellowship of the Ring – p. 19-22; 28-29
J.R.R. Tolkien – The Letters of J. R. R. Tolkien, #27

Fantabulous Friday!

As per idle threats by certain patrons Zomgee, I, OhYo, present to you the first of many fantabulous “Fantabulous Friday” posts. So what sort of things might a passerby read here on Fantabulous Friday? Well, at the very least, it must be fantabulous; and it’s totally cool that Microsoft Word says fantabulous is a real word. (Mozilla disagrees) What does the word fantabulous mean exactly?

It is a portmanteau of fantastic and fabulous; which is something new to me. Fabutastic just doesn’t seem to have the same ring to it. Either way, it should be some fun stuff.

So what’s on your mind lately? Probably shopping for your respected “holy day,” we can only presume. Marketers don’t really care, they just want you to spend, and I suppose it couldn’t hurt the economy (or could it?) What’s really scary is the type of psyche western society has on shopping. Men scoff at women for being utterly enthralled by the thought of shopping, observing items for sale and “lookin’ for deals/coupons,” while women jeer at the thought of how men rush into stores to acquire goods without penalty of price or simply not bother to go shopping entirely. I was at work the other day and I saw this little girl with a t-shirt that said “I love shopping!” or something similar on it. Better learn ‘em young. My marketing teacher advised that consumers are smart and are intelligible in the ways of consuming. This is probably the only thing I would have disagreed on. What do you think? Do people generally make stupid decisions when buying things? Do you?

Gag gifts are great. The best part about them is that they know you had them in mind when you were shopping for this item. Un-useful items make great gag gifts. Umbrella hats, microphone-shaped bathing sponges and custom TP printed with “Do a barrel roll!” all over it applies. Just a thought for those still shopping; get something dumb for once.

Be thankful I didn’t rant about Saturnalia. Oh, and welcome to the new Zomgee. I have until 10:06 to think of something to write for next Friday.

Update:

Contest will end 11/13/08. My apologies in not ending this like 3 months ago, but its been busy and I thought more than 3 submissions would come in. Also, given the recent political events, new inspiration might strike

Original Post:

Inspired by this Flickr album, I’ve decided on Zomgee contest #2.

Either by photoshopping a previously existing image, one you’ve taken, or by actually wearing one and posing, submit a picture consisting of subjects in the photograph wearing a storm trooper helmet (or any other type of star wars helmet).

Please make sure to abide by any and all licensing rules/copyrights and laws, as well as refraining from anything indecent and/or vulgar.

Post your images on your own hosting space, imageshack, flickr, etc and link to them in here. Don’t know if you can embed images, but give it a try.

Points will be awarded based on originality, relevancy (or irrelavancy), quality, and hilarity. Do your best and of course:

The Prize:

One of those $10 woot shirts in your size, free shipping. Just tell me what one you want the day it comes out.

Where is Kentucky? Its kinda in the South, no actually its really the Mid-West, but on the map, to me it looks rather east-ish than west-ish; and more mid-ley, than south-ley. West Virginia lies to the east, Virginia to the southeast, Tennessee to the south, Missouri to the west, Illinois and Indiana to the northwest, and Ohio to the north and northeast. Ok if these words still don’t have you on page, just look at the graphic. This should give you a good idea where it is.

Enough about that, -what- is Kentucky? Well, a united state of course. (was I supposed to capitalize that? Spell-check doesn’t seem to care; communists.) What’s cool in KY? Louisville is the largest city here and is a must-see for any visitor, but beware: locals don’t take kindly to mispronunciations of their beloved city. Not “Lewie-ville” – try ‘Loouhvull’ or ‘Luhvull’ and you might get through a visit without being dubbed the dreaded title of “yank” or worse… “dang yank.”

Before you skip the rest of this post to the comments to question the existence of KFC’s in Kentucky, let me formally assure, they do and they thrive. Why, eating food is one of the primary functions of many of the denizens in this fine state. Another well kept secret locals hold dearly in lieu of Louisville is the fact we only have 49 states: Kentucky and Indiana form to make Kentuckiana, a deformed mutant, failed experiment of a state. BLARRGH!

Before you’re fast to overlook as ‘just another city’ in ‘just another state,’ mind you the wonders of a sport oft overlooked by many Americans: That’s right: Glue manufacturing, production and distribution! It all starts with a few short people, (we’ll call them jockys) and a few horses of high muscle/body-weight ratio, (we’ll call them race horses). Jockys ride these horses in some sort of ovular track. “Break a leg!” And whenst they have their hay-day, or become incapacitated, they’re shipped straight for materials. This is where the fun begins: First, make sure they’re dead, then beat them. It gets fuzzy after this part, I forget: then eventually glue comes out of the factory! (and when I say ‘they’, I mean the horses, silly)

Is there anything else cool about KY? Just as things that “Taste like chicken” aren’t chicken unless its really chicken; Louisville/Kentucky is just like many other cities and states, but aren’t those other cities and states, and chicken tastes pretty good. I dunno really, but apparently I’m the new Zomgee Kentucky Representative or ZKR for short. With my new deep-fried job, I should be able to have a few more time on my hands in the upcoming year. If there are any disputes or misconceptions about this state, please keep it in the comments area of this post, not in any previous post; thank you.