Zomgee

Dick Clark must be undead. He was born in November 30, 1929 as a human being, but now: he is transformed into a living zomgee. On December 8, 2004, Mr. Clark mysteriously suffers from a stroke; unbeknownst to us, he is taking on his new form as a reanimated corpse. After revealing his new self in 2005, blind followers assume he retains a post-stroke condition. How else does he assume his youthful disposition? I bet if that teleprompter wasn’t there he wouldn’t be able to count down from twenty; he certainly has trouble enough even with its aid. Watch it again; see how he strains so hard; he must be there by some Haitian voodoo. Zomgee will be the headquarters of the Official Dick-Clark-Is-A-Zombie-Watch campaign.
I’ve never made a true new-year’s resolution, but my monitor’s display resolution is set to 1440 x 900 pixels. I did commit myself to stop consuming carbonated beverages for no reason whatsoever during 2004 (not new year’s). Still in this condition for almost 4 years, it seems to be optimal for energy management. Energy gained vs. life unenjoyed by not consuming delicious drink is probably not at an optimal ratio, but this is neither here nor there.

The idea of a New Year’s resolution has been argued to be derived from similar traditions of Lent and/or Yom Kippur. Either way, our liminal calendar denotes a time to reflect what we’ve done since last time around our sun and what we might do this time around. I wonder the percentage of people who knew about it but didn’t bother; and the percentage of people who bothered but gave up already in three days since 1/1/8. Then I want to see that statistic for every year possible; and put in an aggregate and show of growth or decline. This graph must also be in a neat design of some sort; like in the shape of confetti, the ball that dropped or someone’s fat belly that didn’t bother to loose wait this last year.

I glance at my television for one moment to find Fox News reporting a story live about a family who had been stranded in a forest in California. From Sunday to at the most Wednesday when reported rescued, a father and three kids, 12 and up, were “stranded” in the middle of Nowheretown, California trying to find “the right Christmas tree.” Oh, I’m on the edge of my seat now, bell and whooshing sound effects spam around trying to remind me how urgent this story is and how important it is for me to drop everything that I’m doing to watch Fox News and not any other channel, ever. (Side note: Apparently several websites have coined “Whooshes” for the term of these filler/attention grabbing sound effects.) Live on camera, the rescuer was interviewed about his heroic triumph; not sure if he was the pilot or not, but he was in the chopper. Over-exaggeration ensued as the ever so small window of opportunity so happened to allow them to find the frantic family on the very last pass in the helicopter. Of course it was the last pass, they found them; I don’t keep looking for my wallet after I find it. Anyway, short story long, Fox News was desperate for a “Holiday clip” that would buy them enough air-time to keep their almighty “24 hour news” status. The pilot wasn’t in a dangerous situation, the family was fine, just not smart enough to find/drink water, and the divorced mother probably just wanted to know if she could have custody now.

I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Hope they got their Saturnalia tree O.K. and celebrate their winter solstice, Saturn worshiping time well. Also, one cannot hate something that cannot hate them back, otherwise I’d state I hate television. The moral of the story is: Don’t go in the woods right before it snows, without a map, or without provisions to survive if you get lost. Also, don’t bother watching A Christmas Story, or any TV for that matter.

Full Story

When starting a new project, it isn’t always easy to see how well things will turn out right off the bat. Zomgee seems “so far so good,” but I’m starting to see it’s potential. Readers will find Zomgee as a one-stop-shop for several topics and interests and I feel excited to be a part of it all as a writer.

OhYoBlog will soon be, for the better time of it’s final days, an internet road sign leading right to Zomgee. Can’t say I’ll miss it as much as I’ll enjoy posting on Zomgee instead, but this is a foreseeable opportunity cost we can all manage with. Besides, everyone’s gotta love these little avatars.

A new road might lead to more fun than we bargained for, so we all can’t pass this up. It was fun enough designing the first Zomgee logo. One of the other authors proposed we use a computer circuit board idea: it fit. Who knows how long we’ll keep this logo, but it seems to work for now.

All in all, I’d say we’ve got a great chance of rolling Zomgee in the right direction! Props to the Zomgee krewe and thanks for visiting.